All I Want for Christmas . . .

This week’s activity has been dominated by (of course) the standard wedding planning as well as a rather disturbing behavioral change from none other than me. Those of you who know me well know that I am not a shopper. I don’t like spending more than an hour or two in any crowded mall or other. Grocery shopping with my mom (who can literally wander with her cart for hoursssss) is torture, and while I feel that Target may be one of my true loves, any more than an hour or so inside the endless aisles of what I now call “things-I-want-but-can’t-buy-because-they-don’t-fit-in-a-suitcase” is simply overwhelming.

But this week, well, this week something happened. Something took over my mind and body causing a rather disconcerting fascination with online shopping. Not for myself. Not for Pablo. Not even for Sophia’s Christmas gifts, but for THE perfect outfits for Soph’s first Christmas.

It started out quite innocently last Sunday when I realized Sophia needed something warm to wear to church on Christmas Eve. Memories of little girls in velvet dresses with big bows, thigh-hugging tights and those black shoes with the strap (See? I’m NOT a shopper - I don’t even remember what they are called!) invaded my mind and sent me searching online for a Christmas dress for Soph. A week, a hundred dollars and several extremely disturbing mood swings later, I have accomplished what became Mission Impossible over the course of the last few days.

My search began innocently with the standard baby sites – Old Navy, Baby Gap, Gymboree. So many cute outfits, so little time. And suddenly, my simple task came crashing down around me as I learned that apparently, to my dismay, so little was IN STOCK!

I went to bed late, waking Pablo to share with him my Christmas outfit woes, which he quickly dismissed with a “Tomorrow we’ll go to Liverpool and find Sophia’s outfit. Go to sleep.”

For some reason which I will never understand, his answer did not satisfy me. I tossed and turned until the morning when I woke and set myself to the task at hand.

First there was the adorable champagne silk dress and chocolate brown fur shrug from Baby Gap . . .


but the shrug was out of stock. And without the shrug, the short-sleeve silk dress just isn’t functional for a Wisconsin winter. Moving along . . .

Next came the sweet Scotty Dog ensemble from Gymboree . . . or was it Babies R Us? No matter. The adorable sweater set, bright red tulle skirt and Scotty dog tights were irresistible.


Click, click. Ugh. Bright red tulle skirt unavailable in Sophia’s size. Well, obviously without the tulle skirt the Scotty outfit just wouldn’t do.

But never fear, a click away I find the sweet striped leggings, Chill Out long-sleeved T, the Santa vest (complete with white trim on the hood) and snuggly white faux fur boots.


But wait, Santa suit perhaps not appropriate for Jesus’ birthday party. Hold on a second . . . Christmas is technically two days – the 24th and 25th. I don’t need one outfit; I need two! Save leggings and Santa vest as possibility for Christmas day except that Pablo doesn’t like the outfit; not a fan of the leggings. Continue search.

There was the black Carter’s dress with the big white bow. Short sleeved, but that’s fixable! Baby Gap has an adorable white long-sleeved faux fur shrug. Perfect!


Click, click. Damn. White long-sleeved faux fur shrug only available in 2T. Despite her advanced size, she isn’t that big.

Panic. Breathe. Write to sister-in-law and request advice on outfits and availability of cute clothing in local stores. Can possibly wait until arrival in US to buy perfect Christmas outfit.

Reply from sister-in-law the following morning: “There are a ton of cute Christmas dresses out here also – I worry that by the 20th it will be picked over.”

Panic more. Hold candlelight vigil in hope of finding perfect Christmas Eve outfit. Admit that this has become an obsession. Ok, admitted. Continue searching.

For a non-shopper, what I did next was borderline psychotic. I turned to the experts. Macy’s, Nordstrum, Barney’s. I know what you’re thinking. She’s seven months old! Trust me, I know. Borderline psychotic I tell you.

Ok, I found it. Finally. Bloomingdale’s has the cutest little black sweater/skirt combo that is SO Soph’s style.


Click, click. My fingers are on fire. Check out. Whoa . . . $430.00 and that doesn’t include shipping. I consider it for about five seconds and realize there must be a twelve-step program in the area for someone with my addiction. I wonder if there are enough Christmas-outfit-obsessed moms in Vallarta for us to get together and talk each other through the bad spots.

Stop wasting time. Must. Find. Christmas. Outfit. No! Outfits. Now.

Out of desperation I return to the saved leggings outfit. Vest, available. Chill Out T, available. Striped Leggings, available. Faux fur boots, Out of stock. Oh well. Boots are amazing, adorable, and it breaks my heart that they are out of stock, but come on. We are in crisis mode. Faux fur boots are not essential. Forget about Pablo’s dislike for the outfit. Seriously, at this point, considering my illness, does his opinion really matter? Click, click, click. Checkout complete. Whew! Christmas day outfit done.

Continue shopping for Christmas Eve outfit. But there is this nagging in the back of my mind . . . something is missing. Something is missing. Oh damn. It’s the faux fur boots.


I knew they’d come back to haunt me. I do a Google-wide search. Apparently the faux fur boots are a very popular item. Many people have them, and many people are selling them. In size 8. Sophia is tall and um, “healthy in size” for her age, but NOT a shoe size 8.

Google is useless. The computer screen is blurring in front of me. Its time to sleep.

Seven a.m. Black Friday. My thoughts immediately go to the sales. Perhaps the baby stores released additional stock just in order to sell like crazy on Black Friday. I scurry to the computer to check for faux fur boots. Nothing. It’s just not going to be my day. I have an appointment with a bride and groom in an hour, need to leave in 30 minutes and I have still not found the boots and I am short one Christmas Eve outfit.

Then, inspiration strikes. Ebay. Everything can be found on Ebay.

My fingers can’t type fast enough. The colorful Ebay logo practically beams hope and possibility as I search for Baby Gap Faux Fur Boots. Size 4, Buy Now option. Aaaah…. Sweet relief. Ok, meeting is in 40 minutes. I just need to click and buy. But Ebay for some reason doesn’t seem to recognize my password; or is it that I can’t remember the right password. All the same. I can’t get into my account. I type in every email and password I can ever remember having used in my life while my brow begins to sweat. Finally, I start a new account in Pablo’s name. I’m in. I enter the credit card number, and Ebay responds, “This credit card account is in use by another account holder. Please enter another form of payment.” I grab my bank card and type in the number . . . 35 minutes to my meeting. Oh no. The expiration date on my bank card is 06/08. How had I not noticed that for five months? Michelle to the rescue with her bank card . . . only the expiration date won’t stick. It literally disappears off the screen every time I type it in. Now my brow is really sweating, and my meeting is in 29 minutes. I feel the white faux fur boots slipping from my grasp. They may be gone when I get back; someone may buy all eight pairs of them in the three hours I am out touring villas and talking wedding. Life is just not fair.

Then a beam of light. Paypal. I log in to my paypal account and voila! I advance a screen and Submit.

“Congratulations! You have successfully purchased New Baby GAP White Faux Fur Snow Boots Size 4.”

I can breathe again. My heart slows in my chest. Close computer. Go to meeting. Make note to reassess priorities and perhaps enroll in a self-help class, or at the very least, buy a self-help book.

This afternoon my husband took Sophia and I to Liverpool, the only department store in Vallarta. He took my hand and walked me to the infant girls section where we beheld six, yes count them, six baby girl holiday outfits. I held them each up to Sophia, hemmed and hawed for about 10 seconds, then made my selection, kissed my daughter and left the store.

Sophia has her outfits, and I have my sanity.

I was brought back from the edge without a class or a book. Thank God for my self-help husband.